Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Fresh beginnings in a New Year...

New goals,

New hopes,

New ideas,

New plans,

a renewed attitude...

In His strength, I will overcome,

In His grace, I will trust,

In His peace, I will desire,

In His silence, I will obey.

In His love, I will serve,

In His presence, I will praise

...humbly seeking His will, not mine...

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and do not lean on your own understanding.
~Bring my decisions to God in prayer,
use my Bible as a guide,
& follow God's leading~

In all your ways acknowledge Him,
and He will make your paths straight.
~to receive God's guidance, I must submit to His will~

Do not be wise in your own eyes;
fear the Lord and and turn away from evil.
It will be healing to your body,
and refreshment to your bones.
~to be in awe, to fall at His feet w/ humble respect

Honor the Lord from your wealth,
and from the first of all your produce;
so your barns will be filled with plenty,
and your vats will overflow with new wine.
~to give to God first will conquer greed,
help to manage God's resources,
& opens us up to receive God's special blessings.~

Proverbs 3; 5-10

Sunday, December 26, 2010


from our home to yours....

My parents with their special

Oldest brother, Joe, conquers bop-it in one try!

My lil sis, Joe, & me.

My sister Janelle, & her husband Chris.
He was the chef of the day!
Prime rib & potato soup... Yummy!

Katie-girl made me a necklace, finger-knitted a lil scarf, and gave me a self-made coupon book FULL of helpful things!!

My sister-in-law Chanelle, & her friend Jeff.
He is reading about finger-knitting, along with all the many other ideas in "How to be the Best at Everything" book.

...and what do we do with a house full of children... send them outside to play!

Christmas evening,
when everyone went home,
my older boys had a blast outside...

with all the many gifts between all the children,
the one simple thing that entertained them most was...
mini-nerf guns & venturing out in the dark backyard. =)

May your New Year be full of Grace, Health, & Joy;
and may Jesus Christ's gift of eternal life give you much hope throughout the year!

Blessings to you & yours,


Wednesday, December 22, 2010

A Season of Grace

Shopping done,

Christmas dates done,

Internet down.

hmmm... what to do...

be home-bound & happy, of course!

We started our Monday with sugar-cookie cut-outs. Just ignore the messy floor & hutch, along with my no make-up face; hey, at least we were out of our jammies! ;^)

Monday afternoon we watched
then proceeded to finish up our Jesse Tree ornaments. We use our own devotional style, but I have had these ornaments to create with for the last several years. Katie loves for me to read the details for each of the ornaments, then let her "remember" what ornament goes with the story; and the older brothers love to pipe in the answer before she can. I love to see my children grasp the ancestry tree of Christ, following God's promises along the way.

Our week is full of simplicity, leaving chaos at the door. No more perfection-wanna-be out of me. No more hustle & bustle, rush to do everything, as the peace of my attitude speaks more clearly to those dear to me. Our daily agenda: baking, craft, movie, and a detailed jurisdiction.
(after all, I want our house smiling at us come Christmas morning!)

Snowball cookies, Christmas chains, Mickey Mouse's Christmas Carol, & bathroom detail.

Wed- Fudge, paper snowflakes, The Christmas Story, & living room detail.

Thurs- Peanut Butter Blossoms, Angel ornament crafts, Charlie Brown's Christmas, & kitchen detail.

Friday- It's Christmas Eve! Our oldest son, along with my sister, her husband, & their 3 boys should be here by evening! We will visit, laugh, enjoy popcorn and watch The Nativity Story.

May your Christmas be blessed with peace, laughter, & His love!

Friday, December 17, 2010

Confessions of an unscheduled week...

because I like keeping things real,
and after all,
no one reads on friday, right?

9:30 up & checking e-mails
The senior student has been up, showered, and working on geometry already this morning. My 3rd grader is working on her dad's Christmas present; she is also stalling to do her school work. I ponder about a healthy breakfast, then fix School Day Biscuits (aka biscuits w/ cinamon sugar & frosting). The aroma gets my 8th grader to crawl out of bed; he begins his math while waiting for breakfast. =)

10:00 the littles are up...
The kinder is helping Mr. Tot build a marble tower...they soon part ways as the kinder wanders off to play with Mr. Potato Head while Mr. Tot proceeds to dump out all the toy cars to play with on the Candyland game board. Yes, this does mean that all the Candyland playing cards are scattered amongst the floor... and where is mom? Out in the living room encouraging her daughter to begin her math lesson.

11:00 simplest of chores...
toilets swiped, laundry swapped about, breakfast dishes being done... the older boys are watching "Monk" while Katie is practicing a card trick, and the littlest boys are now fighting over a controller to a game system (we have 3 controllers by the way).

12:00 lunch time
consists of salami, cheese, & crackers followed by apple slices w/ peanut butter.

1:00 Katie is now whining about not getting up more Christmas decorations (we have only done the tree), and I am bargaining for a clean house... the front door entry way gets cleaned. (?)
Grandma is baking cupcakes for a week end event. The older boys are now playing a video game, and the littlest boys are watching a movie. "The Best Christmas Present of All" with Donutman. Me? I am going through our budget and planning to pay bills amonst Christmas shopping.

2:30 Katie gets distracted by learning to Hand Knit (which seems kinda cool). TJ (13) is wrestling on the bed with the littlest boys.

Grandpa is up (he worked til 4:30 a.m) and now has the littlest boys running wild outside with him. Katie & TJ are fighting. TJ is pestering, Katie is screaming, I do not like neither choice... they now are "reading" quietly.

3:30 Katie is now playing outside w/ the littlest boys...and...they find a long lost Easter egg...and yes, she did eat the candy that was inside it! I am now tidying up the house with the intentions of being ready to decorate the house tonight. The older boys are playing Chess. The dear husband calls to let me know he is at the hospital(?). Did I mention he has a dry sense of humor? Yeah, well, he was checking out a job site which is at a hospital building. Funny, eh?

4:30 I am now going through paper clutter on our computer/school desk...bills, assignments, crafts, teacher notes, coupons, etc... The older boys are unloading the dishwasher, Katie is hand-knitting again, and the littlest boys are running through the house chasing each other (pretending to be Ninjas I do believe) with their tinker-toy swords.

5:00 All is quiet! All the kids are watching "Elf", cept Bryson, whom has nodded off for a nap. I am still pushing through paperwork. Daddy is now home, yay for me!

6:00 I am going with Katie to her ballet class for a special parent night, while Dad (& Andrew) took Nick to soccer practice. TJ had the challenging job of babysitting his sleeping littlest brother...he played a game while we were gone.

8:00 We are all back home now. Bryson is now up. Dinner? hmmm... fried eggs & left over French Toast for most of us, pizza for the rest of 'em. Did I mention I don't cook much?

9:00 The littlest boys play randomly about the house with stuffed animals and plastic fruit. Somewhere along the line the magnetic ABC letters came out too, as the rest of us sat together to watch two, yes 2, episodes of 24.

11:00 Dad heads to bed, as does Katie. I check my e-mails (again) and drop a note on facebook. I get sidetracked by reading a few blogs (hey, atleast I'm honest, lol).

12:00 Bryson (whom has new found energy) starts bullying Andrew in which TJ tries to rescue him; mom (me) intervenes by channeling my wild childs energy to play with a ball in the kitchen. Nick escapes to the bedroom during all the chaos.

12:30 The oldest boys head to bed, the littlest boys lay down to watch a movie. Do I dare admit it is a "Care Bear" movie? I spend this quiet time creating our Christmas Letter, planning some Christmas day activities, and then decide to type up this post; aimless, eh?

2:00 Everyone is finally asleep.... We never did get to the Christmas decorations, and as I look about the house I see a sink full of dishes; hats, shoes, coats strung about; cars, fruit, Mr Potato Head, & stuffed animals covering our floors. The trash needs to be taken out (as in over-flowing), and the tree needs water... I will head to bed in about an hour (after the house is smiling at me), and now you will know why I wasn't up until 9:30 a.m. in the first place.

So...How are YOUR days looking lately?

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Tis the Season ...

for thought pondering questions.


Why does everyone else seem to pull off fabulous family pictures during the holidays?
seriously, we pile everyone together and hope for the best...hmmm, maybe there is a better technique to it?

Why does there always seem to be an underlying thought that I am forgetting to do something during the holidays?
making a list, checking it twice... should I just let Santa worry about such things?

Simple or elaborate? decorations, that is.
I love the twinking lights, nativity scenes, & trinkets of glimmer... yet, does simplicity seem to bring Christ more into focus?

We keep it simple, sibling buying/making gifts for each other does bring meaning...
but what are other ways for us to display "we care" to the other people in our lives that we love?

The Christmas Letter!
I actually enjoy creating our Christmas letter. It is fun to ponder about blessings amongst trials in our year... although I am thrilled to read other folks message, who really actually likes to read ours??
(I can just picture someone rolling their eyes while reading my musings ;^)

Christmas Day! My hope is for joyful celebrations; a day filled with family, fun, fellowship, & food... yet how best can my actions display the most precious gift of this day,
the love of Jesus Christ?

Sunday, December 5, 2010

l.i.f.e. Academy

Our latest field trip was to a local children's museum. Andrew received a "family" membership for his birthday! yay! Grandma Michele & Aunt Chanelle came with us to explore our new found fun!

~December goals~

We missed most of our formal lessons last month due to illness, snow, & holidays. We will be practicing what we do know as a review this month.

nothing formal this month, just practice & review.

Fine Arts:
Composer Piotr Ilyich Chaikovsky "The Nutcracker"
Artist Musee D' Orsay "The Dance Class"
Poet Henry Wadsworth Longfellow "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day"

Last month we studied the Pilgrim heritage, and are continuing on to Jamestown this month.

reviews, practice fast facts, and a pop quiz this month.

free reading choice

The water cycle, cloud study, weather analysis, & experiments on salt water.

Note: We intentionally have a light load for our studies in December as to focus our attention more on Christ through this can-be chaotic season. We will focus on peaceful purpose & loving attitudes. We will enjoy some hands-on activities such as crafts, baking, games, and add to our Jesse tree each day. Lesson on finances are a must during this season by earning money & spending wisely towards sibling gifts to each other. This will also include researching different charity causes, and donating to one of them.

Our Classroom Schedule:

1/2 hr writing
1/2 hr English (grammar, punctuation, & vocabulary)
1/2 hr Science
1/2 hr Literature
1 hour Math

1/2 hr French
1/2 hr Fine arts
1 hr history
(reading, map work, & sometimes history related activities)

Fine arts is broken into days:
Monday is our official Bible lesson,
(w/ scripture review the rest of the days)
Tuesday is our composer study.
(we continue to listen to the musical piece all week)
Wednesday is our artist study.
Thursday is our poet study.
Friday is our Nature Study.

Notice that I did not list a time on our schedule =)
Ideally we would do 9 a.m. - noon, and 1 p.m. - 3 p.m.,
but I am into keeping it real, right? so....

We have been staying up late (is 1 a.m. late? ok, ok, it's more like 3 a.m. for me),
and I am getting up around 9 (laughing at myself, because I am a morning person, the day is half over by then!) while the others get up around 10. This would mean our "morning studies" is done closer to afternoon, and our afternoon studies are done more towards evening. I don't really care when it gets done as long as it does.

Anyone else have odd hours? just wondering...

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Andrew is 6
Why yes, there is only 2 candles on the cake, but Andrew just thought he was sharing a turn with his little brother. Hey, give us a break, it was all we had in the drawer, and Andrew was not about to wait for us to run to the store...so... simple is as simple does =)
Grandma made the cake; she is practicing her new cake decorating skills! All the kids cheered her on~ more decoration = more frosting.

And just in case we don't seem simple enough, check out our home-made wrapping paper. Each sibling gets to decorate their own paper! (psst, I bought a humongous roll of this stuff for $1 at a garage sale years ago).

Birthday gifts seems to have a pattern with each child-

Something practical- snow boots & tennis shoes
Something educational
- Chicka Chicka Boom Boom book
Something family bonding
- Hungry Hungry Hippos
(yes, even the older boys play this too)
Something personality related- new action figures.
A handful of miniature ones. Andrew loves his "peoples", always has. You know, the Fisher Price kind. Andrew is now 6, and I figure it is time to introduce "bigger boy" toys to him. I am not at all thrilled with current action figures for the most part; seems to me that cartoons are more meant for adults nowadays. So, when I pick out a handful of Incredible Hulk, Spiderman, Batman, Superman...this is with the intent of letting him see the old classic cartoons.

Andrew is proud to be 6!
His (our) 6 yr old goals are:
1) Keep our (his) clothes on~
I swear the child thinks Mogli (from Jungle Book) is his brother.
2) Be willing to communicate clearly by using his words thoughtfully.
3) Learn to read
4) To be an official participant of our chore list (yay me!)

The "little" years go by so fast,
and off he goes to his "middle" years...
Can I still say Learning w/ the Littles if now he is a middle? hmmm.....

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Our Seasonal Tree~


Ee - eagle
Ff - frogs
Gg - grasshoppers
Hh - harvest
Ii - inchworms

Monday, November 29, 2010


Takin' Care of Mama


Know why?

because it is always full of new beginnings.

a new week, new ideas, new attitude, new efforts, new goals.

My November goals to drink more water, move some, & choose healthier foods was challenging. I mean seriously, this is the month of Thanksgiving right? I have drank more water, and I did go for A walk....yesterday. =)

I have gotten up early a handful of times to have some quiet time w/ the Lord.... which leads me to Decembers goals.

Fitness: Indeed I have a desire to begin walking again (note "new attitude" above).
We have a membership to a gym down the street, so I cannot have a "fair-weathered" excuse. Snow shmoe...here I go....

Nutrition: a repeat goal (note "new efforts" above) towards 6 small mini meals, and to continue to drink a healthy amount of water.

Spiritual Health: (note "new goals" ) I love my concept for a spiritual triathlon (15 min each of praying, worshipping, and reading the Bible).

My focus on new ideas is in reflection to this time of year. Chaos, stress, ...these are the things that creep into my December. I have improved my approach to Christmas over the last few years, yet... this year I seek something a bit different... more peaceful, more calm, more grace... a time to be still, listen, seek... to show my children the true Spirit of Christmas.

To approach this blessed season with a fresh newness to share God's love in our simplest of days

This series is encouraged by Mama D

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Thankful for....

my kids!
Joe, &

The in-laws family-
this would be Fred's stepmoms' family. Cindy is sitting by the beautiful Husky. They are all lovely to visit with!

The Turkey Bowl?
My dear husband & the older boys play football with the hometown folks every year...and every year "something" is dramatic. This year? Fred's face met up with someones head...knocked out, dislocated jaw...no worries, some guy on the field popped it back in place...and he was good for eating the Turkey Dinner!

Xbox 360
A few games of spongebob & teenage mutant ninja turtles kept Bryson busy while we were setting the table.

This is Fred's little sister. We all love spending time with her. She is the same age as our Nick; and yes, she is loved on and picked on as much as with our own kids. =)

Dad (aka Grandpa)
Fred's dad is always a hand-on Grandpa. From marbles to rough housing to croquet to playing golf at the local golf course, he always finds ways to spend time with the kids.

I am so very thankful for family, to be able to spend a relaxing time with them, and to continue to make wonderful memories...

Thank you God for each simple gift that lays within our days, and may our everyday moments continue to be filled with your Grace...Amen.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010




Oh, I had some lovely intentions...really I did.
Our school studies for Thanksgiving week were outlined w/ purpose. And oh, the grand plans I had for our "Thankful for Each Other" party... crafts, games, prayer, snacks, & a movie.

Yep, I sure did... then it snowed. Who keeps kids inside studying when there is fun to be had?
Not this mom!
Frigid temperatures insist on icy roads, so when we were going to have our party, we now are hitting the road to stay with family a day earlier than planned...

We will open our Thankful letters before we go. Each child wrote a word to each sibling. Anything from "she's ok" to "He's crazy, I like that" to "I'm glad I'm bigger" to "He's funny & outgoing". Ha, did you expect it to have more meaning? Heartfelt & thought pondering? Oh, I did... but hey, welcome to our simple world. ;^)

Does anybody struggle with the attempt at a perfect holiday?

Does this effort rob the joy out of the intent?

I am a planner, a type A personality, I want things perfect. What I have discovered over the years is that to strive towards perfection steals the desires and efforts of pleasing others.

Holidays are not about the clean house,
not about the decorations,
not even about the food,
it is about the people.
Those whom we care about, adore, love.

So during this holiday of Thanksgiving...
I will slow down to...
embrace a small child,
listen to a talkative young lady,
pay attention to a quiet guest,
hug the host,
& whisper a grateful message into each ear that is near me this day.

Give thanks to the Lord, His love endures forever.............

Monday, November 22, 2010

with the


Dominoes gave us an example of follow-the-leader...

Forts were made, and fans were used....

...and we had plenty of fish activities for the week.

Gg week included puzzles, size sorting,

magnets, & tracer pages of Gumball machines.

Ff activities were based off Abeka curriculum.
Gg activites were found here ~love this gal for simple preschool busy activities!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Soccer in the North

Little brothers love to watch big brothers play. =)

Little sisters hang in there patiently as big brothers play. =)

Nick is # 5. He's back to playing in the games after 7 weeks off due to a bone injury.

Most times he wins the ball....

and sometimes

... he doesn't. ;^)

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Praising God for Mothers, Sisters, & Daughters.

We went to a Mother/
Daughter Tea yesterday!

I *heart* my mom! She is beautiful!
She taught me about unconditional love.
She also taught me that mistakes get made,
we learn from them, and we move on to better things.
I am blessed to be living with her for this season...

Sisters...now, I have a sister (love you sissy!!!) and I have a dear s.i.l. (*wave* to Chanelle)...but today I am sharing about sisters-in-Christ.

Our Mother/Daughter tea was at a church... a black church. A God glorifying, hope honoring, spiritual seeking, gospel gleaming, praise precious church. These beautiful ladies give fresh perspective on "sisters"-in-Christ. They sing, they praise, they worship, they pray (and pray they do), they dance, they rejoice, they relate, and they let down their guard and kept it real. AND they looked good, lol. NOT that that matters ;^) The hats, gloves, and shoes of these women were stunning; but they are the first to admit that they share, borrow, and bargain shop; but I am not talking about the outer beauty. These "sisters" know that Christ is their King, and they treat themselves (and each other) like the precious jewels they are.

Daughters~ my daughter is lovely.
She adores doing things with me. Even simple things like making donuts together, or reading together. I love taking her to mother/daughter events. She lights up.
She had a nice time at the tea, too. She had a "twin" at the tea. A young girl, 9, came up to introduce herself. Both the girls were wearing the SAME dress. Now, as women, that is something we prefer not to happen....girls, on the other hand, seem to use it as a connection.
They were simply adorable.
Black girl, black hat, black gloves, black shoes;
white girl, white pearls, white gloves, white shoes...
yearning to be ladies; learning to be sisters-in-Christ.

May I always Shine His Light in a way that my daughter can follow His path....
and may she be much more graceful through it than I am!

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

with the

Letter of the week: Ff

Katie-girl reads during Story Time.

Andrew helps count the Frogs, Firemen, & Fish.

Bryson loves helping his mama color!


Our Andrew thinks differently. He is clever; his brain just processess things differently. I, as his mom & teacher, am still learning how that works, and what school will look like for him.

Andrew has had reading lessons for a few months now. "Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons" I love this book....very effective & efficient. We are not getting very far. He does not want to do it. Is this rebelliousness...or lack of attention... or... too concrete?

So, I pull out an old book called "The Heart of Learning" from Oak Meadows. I researched this curriculum at the beginning of our homeschool journey. (9 years ago) Back then I was researching how to best help Nick absorb information while reading. The concept from this is interesting. It is not a Christian based curriculum; it has more of a 'Mother Earth' tone to it. None-the-less it has some fascinating concepts to guide the child while grasping how they learn... being aware of the mind, heart, & body.

I decide to approach "school" for Andrew at a different angle. Today we had Story Time & Table Time.

Table Time: A stack of paper...and crayons.
Too simple? ...not so much....

The crayons create softer lines than markers, so this was intentional. Andrew is an abstract thinker...he has a lot going on in his brain at once, but to create a concrete idea, it takes process.

His Lesson: Each of us have one blank piece of paper.

I draw grass...not a concrete line, but blades of grass...randomly across the bottom of the paper.

I talk about how grass grows from the ground.

He draws a sun...with a smiley face.

I draw a flower stem...from the grass upwards.

I talk about how flowers grow up out of the ground.

He draws the moon... with a smiley face.

I draw the flower...discussing the flower petals as I go.

He draws two people...he decides that it is him and Katie.

I let Bryson "color" my sketched picture I drew.

While I am "busy" with Bryson...

Andrew draws grass (blades of grass)

While I am talking with Katie (still at the table)...

Andrew draws the flowers (focusing on creating petals).

He begins to take pride in his project, and starts to talk about his creation.

The sun & the moon are Far away.

The two people are Friends.

Our lesson was on the letter Ff.

What I thought was lack of attention was actually very intentional...

and sometimes it takes a mama a moment to slow down, view things from a different angle, and to simply...listen.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Takin' Care of Mama

A journey of getting healthy,
both spiritually and physically.

Encouraged by Mama D.

My Week...

started with lots of ponderings, prayer, & some patience.

I came up with my Healthy Plan...and then I came up with the flu for several days. Nothing like the desire to get healthy when you feel really ill. ;^)

The first topic of my Healthy Plan is Fitness.

I like fitness.
I love being active.
I just never get around to finding time "for me" to get it done
(aka I don't find time for myself.)
Walking is my favorite; It loosens my joints, strengthens my muscles, slowly slims my roundness, and clears my mental thinking.

My fitness plan for this month is to just get started. How's that for big goals?

Next is Nutrition.

I already mentioned that I can't diet. But dieting is something temporary. It is a quick fix. Something that I see as a short term goal. I have to approach my nutrition as a life style change. As a way to get healthy. To feel better from within.

I cannot make rules. That becomes a diet.
You know, like:
*no sugar, no carbs
*limit to 1500 calories
*don't eat after 8 p.m.

I can, however, make guidelines.
*Balanced nutrition. This would mean adding vegetables to my meals. =)
*Drink less caffeine; drink more water.
*plan 6 small meals to keep metabolism up & hunger down.

My nutrition plan for this month is to eat small balanced meals, and to drink more water.

Last, but not least, is my spiritual health.

This mama needs prayer time, wants Bible reading time, and craves good worship music. I will seek this time in the quiet hours of the morning.

My spiritual goal for this month is the Spiritual Triathlon.
15 min. reading, 15 min. praying, 15 min. listening.

~Next week I will share my opinions about "the scale"
~why I think my health should be important to me.

So, what steps are you willing to take to be a healthier you?

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Our Family Fall Nature Walk

Not too bad a picture for throwing them all under a tree.

Bryson was checking out the mushroom Daddy found. He tried to lick it like an ice cream cone. Thankfully this child has tamed down a bit, and didn't once run off towards the cliffs or hillside. This makes for a much more peaceful nature walk!

This completes our "year round" study of the environment at this particular nature trail. We started our observations last winter, and continued our research of wildlife and nature through all four seasons. Kind of a fun project to do.

Today's trip was to gather seeds & leaves, search for bugs, and to take note of which animals were still around.

It was a great outing, and the weather was beautiful. Days like these make me slow down my thoughts and be grateful for the more simple moments in life.

Sunday, October 31, 2010


~Laurel began a journey to get healthy, both spiritually as well physically.

I already mentioned doing a post on Overcoming Personal Struggles.

I've decided to step up to the Challenge as it will relate to what I was already going to share.

I've also decided that this journey will be my Monday post. We will see how it goes. =)

My Story
(the very simple quick version)

I was tiny, petite, little while growing up. I had my fair share of challenging situations in my childhood.

I was an average teen- average grades, average size, average attitude.

So, when did my eating disorder begin? It muddles somewhere around 9. This is when I began food type rituals (food can't touch, etc), and began to opt not to eat. It was not noticed. Let's just say that "peas" don't flush well down the toilet. =)

By 14, I began to diet. This would be the 500 calorie diet...only to follow with a binge of LOTS of popcorn with an disturbing amount of butter (really, like picture using a spoon to eat your popcorn).

By 16, I discovered diet pills, then speed. Thankfully, over a few years time, that was let go. Whether over-the-counter or narcotics, it just plain made me agitated and jittering and ultimately feeling out of control.

By 18, after over eating at a fabulous Mexican restaurant, my dear cousin whom was with me, suggested we try to 'throw it up'. She couldn't, and I, well I found my escape.

By 22, I began to realize my behavior was obsessive. (between 18-22 I had gained about 30 extra pounds). I had my first son now, and the weight began to fall off because I had ate very balanced and healthy during the pregnancy. Well, "go me", so I thought. Exercise became compulsive, I didn't "feel well" all the time, if I ate too much one day, I would starve the next day, etc... Then all in one week I saw a TV show, read an article, and went to an OA (overeaters anonymous) to support a friend... and realized all these quirky behaviors were Bulimia related tendencies.

Oddly, most folks believe Bulimia is a diet issue, but in all reality it is an emotional issue. Oh the face of bulimia starts out as a diet savior. Just another avenue to lose weight, and you finally feel in control of something in your life. Soon it becomes a vice to cope with life. To "stuff" feeling that you were never allowed to share... only to later "release" the pressures of life. Yes, that is what binging and purging is about.

I won't go into my drawn out adult life, but Bulimia was a recurring issue in my life for many years- minus the two years per child of pregnancy/nursing which was probably a God send.
You see, my definition of bulimia is the slow, silent, suicide. You begin to die from the inside out, both spiritually as well as physically. Emotionally, you are so deep in a dark, miry pit, much like a murky well; the way up and out seems absolutely impossible...This was me at age 37. And no one knew. Not friends, not family. And I was dying indeed. I could feel my insides shutting down, I began to hemmorage (the Dr. put me on "the pill"), the acid lining in my stomach was barely existent, etc.... My biggest trouble was defining Bulimia as a sin rather than a disease. In this search for Truth, I came across a Christian website that explained eating disorders as sinful. That would mean I have a choice. That there is hope. That it is possible to stop. I chose Life. I quit purging, period. The binging took a bit longer to let go of. Now, that doesn't mean it isn't difficult. I still emotionally overeat (
not binge, there is a difference). I still have situational triggers. I still have rare moments of glancing at that toilet; ya know, one time won't hurt; but I see the Enemy begin to grin at my very thought. In actuality, Satan can't hear our thoughts, but he is king of temptation. Yet my God is merciful... hope, peace, & sanity can be restored.

I now mentor others whom are willing to ask for help.
One gal came to me as a young teen; may she never endure the years of suffering that I did.
Another gal is a young mom; I understand, and she is not alone.

There is light on the otherside, & it is a beautiful thing!

So, with that all said =)
I am now at a place where I can begin to focus on taking better care of myself. I cannot diet (obviously), but my body thrives on nutrition. Go figure?

I have been "round" for a chunk of years now. I am around 50 lbs overweight. My dear husband has been working out of town A LOT, and I tend to take less care of myself as to take more care of the children. It does not have to be that way, I just tend to cope that way.

So, next week I will share my "healthy plan" ,
which will include fitness, nutrition, and spiritual food!

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Marla at Mothers Inspirations

gave me the Sunshine Award.

She was sweet to give it to me WWwaaayyy back in August.
Yes, I am just now getting to it. =)

I am suppose to write 7 things about myself...
and bless 7 others with this award.

I am not so fond of trying to talk about myself, but I do have blogs that make me smile~ wouldn't that fit into the "sunshine" award?

Mary at Winecup Christian Academy recently gave me the Versatile Blogger Award.

Rule No. 1 Thank the giver of the award~ that goes w/o sayin' I think.
Rule No. 2 Share 7 things about myself.
Rule No. 3 Pass this on to 12 great bloggers that I have recently discovered.
Rule No. 4 Contact selected Bloggers & let them know (I find this funny)

Now, is it WRONG to combine the 7 things about me??
cuz seriously, I don't think I can come up with much more than that. I am a 'what you see is what you get' kinda person.

and what exactly is the Versatile Blogger? Is that a definition for those of us whom enjoy babbling, er, sharing about many different topics? ;^)

My only challenge with awarding this is that I probably read about 12 blogs all together *smile*.
So, since I seem to be a rule breaker, I will pick a handful that I think fit into this category.

So, here goes.... 7 random things about me.

1. I received my first Teddy Bear on my 18th birthday.
2. I hate cooking. I have 3 recipes I can cook really well, the rest of the week I wing what I can. Needless to say, "breakfast" style dinners are at least once a week.
3. I love cleaning. and I have managed to let go of needing things to 'look' clean, and be satisfied by knowing it IS clean. Clutter is constant; dust & germs, not so much.
4. I have a dream to be able to run a marathon some day~ it's not gonna happen.
5. I love SNOW, but I am very wimpy when it comes to playing in it.
6. I am a glass half-full person; this annoys some people, but that only makes me smile.
7. If I say I am praying for you, or that I will pray for you... I am....often.

Ok, now to give away these awards, and yes, I am still breaking the rules...
I do what I can do. =)

The Sunshine Award goes to :

Elaine at Tails of Heaven Scent Farms
Chrissy at Enriched Living
Suzanne at The Joyful Chaos
Kathi at A Mother's Prayers
Cassandra at James, Cassandra, & Madison

The Versatile Award goes to:

Erica at 5 boys and a Princess
Danielle at DB's World
Leanne at Joyful in Hope
Peta at 7 Little Heads on 7 Little Beds
Tammy at Many Things

and now to go notify these beautiful people....