Wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives...
as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior...
your adornment must not be merely external-braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses- but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gently and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. 1 Peter 3: 1-4
Ah, I know this Scripture all to well. I was not good at it, but it was my lifeline in our marriage for many a years. Can I tell you dear friends & family, that God is faithful in all things? Indeed, may I forever cry it on a mountain top!
I was not of a quiet & gentle spirit, and my husband was not obedient to the Word; this is how our marriage began. We loved each other very much, atleast what we knew as love; Christ was not at the center... and God had bigger plans for us. I don't want to throw my husband under the bus here, but I do want to be a bit candid & truthful of our challenges. Fred loved me, he was a fabulous dad, he was a hard worker, he had an inner calling of righteous things. He ignored that still small voice of reasoning (the Holy Spirit) for most of his life. His childhood was difficult, he lacked a positive male role model growing up, and frankly was an angry soul for many years. In the beginning years of our marriage I was outspoken & insecure. I desired stability, I felt shakened. I discerned what my husband chose to ignore; I knew the amazing person he was to be, he fought it. I saw hope, but felt lost. I trusted beyond our circumstances, beyond my own compacity to understand... and God, in His timing, was faithful to answer the cries of my heart.
The verse quoted at the top of this post is what I leaned on; I grasped onto its promises; I believed... and it became. Fred has now been walking with Christ for quite some time; 11 years to be exact. It is always a process of transformation, our walk w/ Jesus Christ, but the beautiful part is that we are doing it together.
For the wives:
This is not about what our husbands should be doing.
Yes, there is scripture that follows this verse that guides the men on their responsibilities towards us. We are not to judge, point, or reflect back to what our husbands "should" be doing... nope, that is not our place.
Our message is loud and clear at the beginning of the chapter....to be submissive.
(This does not mean to be abused, just to make that clear.)
Submissive~meekly obedient~to be gentle & quiet.
It is about our own heart issues,
it is not about our husbands qualifications.
It does not say only if your husband deserves this.
It is a calling to do what's right,
and in my case,
to do what is right without fear.
ie 1 Peter 3: 6